Saturday, August 23, 2008

go shawty, it's yo' birfday! and yours.. and his.. and hers..

august is a busy, busy month! there are too many damn people doing the nasty in nov/dec because EVERYBODY has a birthday in august or september! i am old as shit now and i can only handle so many club/bar/party/get-togethers per month, so all ya'll aug/sept babies better get together and throw a combined party or two, or don't get all pissy on me if i'm still too hungover from the previous night to make it to your bash the next night.

last weekend i had gone out to san francisco to celebrate two of my homeboys' birthdays. they had their own VIP section, bottle service, the whole nine yards. i headed out to the city with my girls, and between the 4 of us we killed a bottle of patron and a bottle of e&j. we were running on typical CP time, so we rolled up to that joint extra late. but because we were lookin' super fly - albeit slightly frazzled and not to mention tipsy - the bouncers still let us in without having to pay cover. YES! the place was cool.. by that i mean i was surrounded by folks my age and the DJ was playing music we can currently still hear playing on the radio. i was dancing with my girls when this one tall, cute ass brotha approached me and asked me to dance. shiiit.. ain't gotta ask me twice, lookin' as cute as you are! so we're dancing and shit.. next thing i know, this one tiny ass asian chick slides up next to us and starts grinding on ol' boy. i'm like, whatever, yo.. and start to back off, but this chick grabs me and pulls me in between her and dude and screams into my ear, "that's my boyfriend you're dancing with!" i'm like, OH.. i didn't know.. my bad! she screams, "no, it's okay! don't worry about it, girl!" i'm like, okaaaay.. cool, thx. but i'm already getting a lil' uneasy [and the dancing + patron + e&j + grey goose + flashing lights + heat was getting to me anyway].. something about this chick just didn't seem right. she came off to me as one of those sickening sweet broads that you sleep with, and wake up the next morning to her standing over you with a knife, while stroking your hair. so i'm tryin' to inch my way away from her and her man.. and she grabs me again, yells, "GIRL, you have to grind up on him!!" and proceeds to shove me into her man's crotch. at this point, i am like, WTF?!! so now this dude is rubbing all up on me dancing.. and his girlfriend is all up in my face tryna grind on me.. i'm like, oh, no, no, NO! and then this chick yells at me, "you are SOOOO pretty! my boyfriend pointed you out to me and i was like, 'damn! i gotta get her to dance with us! and maybe more! hehe!'" okay, as flattered as i was.. i was NOT down with whatever kinky ass swingers shit the two of these muthafuckas had goin' on in their relationship. i pushed her lil' ass outta my way and decided i had enough dancing for the night. forreals, i think ya'll were at the WRONG CLUB.. they must have been looking for
the power exchange. anyway, overall this outing was MUCH more successful than the previous one [noted in my last entry].

today, or should i say yesterday since it's now officially sunday morning, was one of my girl's birthdays, so we had a girls-only luncheon to celebrate. she invited me and a couple of our other girlfriends from college, and a few of her own personal friends that the rest of us never met. these "other friends" of hers.. umm, well, they showed up high [you know i ain't knockin' that cuz anybody who knows me knows me and MJ are real tight.. um, i mean used to be, yeah]. anyway, you could tell these girls were the type of people who weren't about shit in their lives.. no jobs, no direction, nothing. more power to you if that's you, but i don't roll with those types. anyway, they picked some expensive ass restaurant to have lunch at, but since i wasn't very hungry anyway at 11-muthafuckin'-30 in the morning, i ordered a $13 dish. these lit bitches were ordering $30 dishes, plus appetizers, and a $50 bottle of wine. i was thinkin' in my head.. these muthafuckin' whores better be paying for their own shit.. ESPECIALLY after they killed the bottle of wine and ordered A SECOND BOTTLE! so you know i was PISSED when the bill came and one of the girls grabbed it and announced, "$350! umm.. let's split it evenly among all of us except the birthday girl." me and my girls looked at each other and we were all thinkin' the same shit. OMG, i wanted to grab those two empty bottles of wine and beat the living shit outta those scandalous ass hoes. let it be known, i HATE it when i go eat with a group of people and they want to split the bill equally among everybody. that shit is a bitch move.. if your ass is bold enough to order a $35 filet mignon for muthafuckin' lunch, your ass better be rich enough to pay for that shit. don't piggy-back off other people. man, my girls and i were HEATED. tell me why i shelled out damn near $90 for a grilled chicken sandwich? that, hands down, was the MOST EXPENSIVE chicken i've EVER had.. i sure hope that bird used to shit out colorless and flawless diamonds. or at least premium gas.

anyway.. i'm going back to LA next weekend.. i'm excited! i think the last time i went home was back in march/april? anyway, i had gone to vegas for labor day last year, so this year i decided to be more low-key and just go home and chill with my family.

oh yeah, i've also decided to go back to school for my masters.. i've been playin' around with the idea for the past year. i bought the GMAT prep book and had been half-assed studying, but i actually went and signed up for the exam a few weeks ago.. so it's REAL now. i'm taking my GMAT exam at the end of this year, and should be starting school by this time next year. i'm excited, but nervous.. i feel like i've been outta school for so long cuz my brain turns into mush every time i open that damn book! sigh. wish me luck.

i need to sleep.. yes, i know, i still owe you an entry about trey.. i think.. it may come, it may not.. my feelings on that changes daily, haha. NIGHT!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

party in my wheelchair!

so after numerous threats from certain people *couKATgh*.. and requests for updates from others, i'm updating. geez. i actually shouldn't have updated this soon.. should've made ya ass wait.. but i don't have shit else to do right now anyway. haha.

really haven't done much this past week. just working my ass off cuz we're getting into our "busy season" at work right now. OH, this past weekend, i ended up going to some bar out in san jose for one of my girl's birthday. what a waste of gas, time, and most importantly, a fly ass outfit. this place was soooo damn weak. this was clearly the place where the baby boomers in the bay get hyphy. i swear, that crowd was so damn old, i was waiting for someone to blurt out, "m-m-mom?!!" into the crowd. plus, the DJ was playin' some old ass songs.. i thought i walked into 2002. so within 3 minutes of arriving, i grabbed one of my girls and we made a beeline to the bar, hoping to drink some fun into our night. i usually just take straight shots so i really don't have a particular drink.. so i ended getting what my girl was getting, which was vodka and cranberry.. and i know it ain't been that long since i went out and drank, and i'm not the expert on mixed drinks since i rather throw back shots, but am i wrong or are you supposed to actually TASTE alcohol in a mixed drink? ughh.. so we grudgingly paid for our cup of cranberry juice.. but whatever, on the bright side, thx to the dude behind the bar with his weak wrist, at least i won't be getting a UTI any time soon.

so i must have stayed at the nursing home - i mean, bar for about 15 mins tops. i was so pissed someone our age would even PICK this spot.. i mean, dude, i know you a year older now and shit.. but that don't mean we gotta party with our parents now! i even tried to enjoy the evening by posting up in the courtyard outside the bar and people-watch, but even the white folks there couldn't entertain me enough. i would have fallen asleep had it not been for ja rule screaming thru the speakers about having a fetish for fuckin' a chick with a skirt on, in the back seat of his yukon. i had had enough. i found the birthday girl, told her i had to get up early to go to church the next morning [sorry, Jesus], and bounced. of course, on my way out, this crusty ol' brutha who had to be in his 50's, passed by me on his way in, stopped and whistled, "daaaamn, lil' lady.. do i KNOW you?" i was like, HELL NAW you don't know me! he starts, "you remind me of someone.. " perhaps your DAUGHTER? cuz you look the same age as my daddy and that ain't cool. oh, yeah.. he finishes his sentence with the ever-so-lame line, ".. my new wife!" umm, NEGATIVE. please keep it movin' with ya balding head, year-old braids [yes, he was balding but braided what hair was left on his head], and ashy knuckles. YUP, i seen it.

since it was still early when i left the bar, i called up trey [since i knew he was in san jose that weekend with some of his frat bruhs] and kicked it with him for a minute. umm, oh yeah, i do have something to say about the whole situation with him.. but it's 11:30 pm [which is past my bedtime] so i'mma go to sleep now. i'll save that post for another day.