Saturday, August 23, 2008

go shawty, it's yo' birfday! and yours.. and his.. and hers..

august is a busy, busy month! there are too many damn people doing the nasty in nov/dec because EVERYBODY has a birthday in august or september! i am old as shit now and i can only handle so many club/bar/party/get-togethers per month, so all ya'll aug/sept babies better get together and throw a combined party or two, or don't get all pissy on me if i'm still too hungover from the previous night to make it to your bash the next night.

last weekend i had gone out to san francisco to celebrate two of my homeboys' birthdays. they had their own VIP section, bottle service, the whole nine yards. i headed out to the city with my girls, and between the 4 of us we killed a bottle of patron and a bottle of e&j. we were running on typical CP time, so we rolled up to that joint extra late. but because we were lookin' super fly - albeit slightly frazzled and not to mention tipsy - the bouncers still let us in without having to pay cover. YES! the place was cool.. by that i mean i was surrounded by folks my age and the DJ was playing music we can currently still hear playing on the radio. i was dancing with my girls when this one tall, cute ass brotha approached me and asked me to dance. shiiit.. ain't gotta ask me twice, lookin' as cute as you are! so we're dancing and shit.. next thing i know, this one tiny ass asian chick slides up next to us and starts grinding on ol' boy. i'm like, whatever, yo.. and start to back off, but this chick grabs me and pulls me in between her and dude and screams into my ear, "that's my boyfriend you're dancing with!" i'm like, OH.. i didn't know.. my bad! she screams, "no, it's okay! don't worry about it, girl!" i'm like, okaaaay.. cool, thx. but i'm already getting a lil' uneasy [and the dancing + patron + e&j + grey goose + flashing lights + heat was getting to me anyway].. something about this chick just didn't seem right. she came off to me as one of those sickening sweet broads that you sleep with, and wake up the next morning to her standing over you with a knife, while stroking your hair. so i'm tryin' to inch my way away from her and her man.. and she grabs me again, yells, "GIRL, you have to grind up on him!!" and proceeds to shove me into her man's crotch. at this point, i am like, WTF?!! so now this dude is rubbing all up on me dancing.. and his girlfriend is all up in my face tryna grind on me.. i'm like, oh, no, no, NO! and then this chick yells at me, "you are SOOOO pretty! my boyfriend pointed you out to me and i was like, 'damn! i gotta get her to dance with us! and maybe more! hehe!'" okay, as flattered as i was.. i was NOT down with whatever kinky ass swingers shit the two of these muthafuckas had goin' on in their relationship. i pushed her lil' ass outta my way and decided i had enough dancing for the night. forreals, i think ya'll were at the WRONG CLUB.. they must have been looking for
the power exchange. anyway, overall this outing was MUCH more successful than the previous one [noted in my last entry].

today, or should i say yesterday since it's now officially sunday morning, was one of my girl's birthdays, so we had a girls-only luncheon to celebrate. she invited me and a couple of our other girlfriends from college, and a few of her own personal friends that the rest of us never met. these "other friends" of hers.. umm, well, they showed up high [you know i ain't knockin' that cuz anybody who knows me knows me and MJ are real tight.. um, i mean used to be, yeah]. anyway, you could tell these girls were the type of people who weren't about shit in their lives.. no jobs, no direction, nothing. more power to you if that's you, but i don't roll with those types. anyway, they picked some expensive ass restaurant to have lunch at, but since i wasn't very hungry anyway at 11-muthafuckin'-30 in the morning, i ordered a $13 dish. these lit bitches were ordering $30 dishes, plus appetizers, and a $50 bottle of wine. i was thinkin' in my head.. these muthafuckin' whores better be paying for their own shit.. ESPECIALLY after they killed the bottle of wine and ordered A SECOND BOTTLE! so you know i was PISSED when the bill came and one of the girls grabbed it and announced, "$350! umm.. let's split it evenly among all of us except the birthday girl." me and my girls looked at each other and we were all thinkin' the same shit. OMG, i wanted to grab those two empty bottles of wine and beat the living shit outta those scandalous ass hoes. let it be known, i HATE it when i go eat with a group of people and they want to split the bill equally among everybody. that shit is a bitch move.. if your ass is bold enough to order a $35 filet mignon for muthafuckin' lunch, your ass better be rich enough to pay for that shit. don't piggy-back off other people. man, my girls and i were HEATED. tell me why i shelled out damn near $90 for a grilled chicken sandwich? that, hands down, was the MOST EXPENSIVE chicken i've EVER had.. i sure hope that bird used to shit out colorless and flawless diamonds. or at least premium gas.

anyway.. i'm going back to LA next weekend.. i'm excited! i think the last time i went home was back in march/april? anyway, i had gone to vegas for labor day last year, so this year i decided to be more low-key and just go home and chill with my family.

oh yeah, i've also decided to go back to school for my masters.. i've been playin' around with the idea for the past year. i bought the GMAT prep book and had been half-assed studying, but i actually went and signed up for the exam a few weeks ago.. so it's REAL now. i'm taking my GMAT exam at the end of this year, and should be starting school by this time next year. i'm excited, but nervous.. i feel like i've been outta school for so long cuz my brain turns into mush every time i open that damn book! sigh. wish me luck.

i need to sleep.. yes, i know, i still owe you an entry about trey.. i think.. it may come, it may not.. my feelings on that changes daily, haha. NIGHT!

11 comments:

nicole said...

found u via melodyd

lmao@ the swingers story!!!!!! madness

The Black Kat said...

Okay... I was rollin' at 1/2 of this post. Ha! Ha! I could spot the swinger story coming as soon as she wispered in your ear. lol! I knew you were past tipsy when all you said was... "okay, cool. thx!" when she said it was cool to dance with/on her man. Cause you would normally be ready to cut a trick up in that piece! I can laugh now, cause I had a chick try to bend me over in the club once. *smh* I haven't been back to that lesbo infested club since!

And... you do not get a pass on this Trey story. You can skip out on the rest of the blog world if you want to, but not the kid. I besta get a phone call w/ the rundown! (Cause I don't want to hear your mouth if I don't update about Mr. JailBaitHipHop (name courtesty of How Stella Got Her Groove Back).

As for the bill... that situation can be a catch 22. I've been in the situation before. And once, when it was MY OWN DAYUM BIRTHDAY; where these chicks were tryin' to count out bills/tabs to the penny & *ish and my other girl was like... fukk this *ish! And her & her man paid the majority of the bill over someone who was supposed to be one of my BFF's! Grrr... So... when it's about equal, I'm not opposed. But... if I eat $13 worth of food & end up spitting out $90?! I'ma be a bit salty!

Miss Foxxy said...

kat - i've split bills equally before when i go out to eat with my girlfriends, but only when what we all eat is about the same in price! none of this i order a $13 sandwich and these other bitches ordering lobster, shrimp, and steak, and then have us split the bill equally? HELL NAW.. and i don't even KNOW these bitches! i was hella pissed.. but my girls and i didn't want to make a fuss about it [esp since it was our homegirl's birthday and those were her friends] so we coughed up our $90 each.. but whatever, i'm still mad as hell at the situation.

i will get around to telling you about trey.. haha.. still don't mean i can't get on yo' ass about mr. young'n!

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

u aint old folk, happy nappy babe
have a tequelia and hot sauce for me

Teana said...

haha, as an august baby, i have to say that obviously it's THE month to be born in. and i feel the same way you do about april. i have at least two birthdays every week. including your cousin's!

good luck on the gmat! it's a real bugger. if you have any questions or want to use my book on the math portion [which was the best math help i could have gotten on my own] let me know!

Melody.Darlene said...

im an august baby tooooo!!

omg aki! they was tryna swing ur ass! toss it up - flip it round - rub it down!! aaaahahahahahahah!! omg that is toooo funny!

omg and u went to dinner with some RATS!! straight up! i woulda been like "ummm NO. we can split the bday girl's food/drinks and other than that, every man for themselves!!"

dont get me wrong, i'll split equally with tha homies cuz we prob all spendin around the same amount anyway. but for some rats? some straight clowns?? pssshhh!!! im good.

and WHAT? u comin to LA??! girrrrrrrrrl!! u better keep me posted on ur labor day weekend plans. mmmhmmmm!! real REAL talk baaaybeeeeeee!!!

T. Michelle Theus said...

Ahhh that's so foul! I'm with Melody, though. I would've kicked in for the bday girl only. But then on the other hand I could understand you not wanting to cause a rucus on your girl's day. SMH trifling heffas.


And good luck with the GMAT. What are you going to study in school?

dessex said...

Oh my...ole girl and her man were trying get it poppin with u...U know that crazy shit goes in frisco they some freaks.

and yo girls were wrong for trying to split the bill...hell naw every man for themselves.

IntrospectiveGoddess said...

Happy belated!..Im all late but you really need to update more often my dear...and um as far as the bill splitting I would have said something it was your friend's b-day but they were taking advantage and those are her friends so she should already know how they do....I would have paid for the b-day girl and me and been out....damn that! LOL @ the swingers....when she first whispered I kind of knew where it was going....people are a fucking trip..they better try craigslist or some shit......

Carla Ino said...

Just passin' through, found you from Kat's blog --

I had a horrible horrible flashback while reading your story about the "split bill". It wasn't as HIGH as yours, but same experience!! I was in Miami for my girl's birthday and we ate at the Mandarin Oriental hotel, where a cheeseburger cost $25. I basically drove in on fumes, assured that I wouldn't have to shell out a lot of money, she just wanted me there. But those heffas split the bill evenly. I ordered a $7 dish and ended up paying $35....

Anyway, I said all that to say, I am NOT a fan of the evenly split bill at uber-expensive restaurants. Foolishness.

Urbane_Diva724 said...

okay...better late than never...

1.) Get'em Aki, gettin the men and the ladies...AND couples!!! LOL. I was in a similar position on my 21st birthday in San Fran at "the factory". That shit was weird...even for my non-prude ass.

2.) As far as the bill splitting. I would've gave my $13+ tax+ my 15% of the bill for tip+ my part of the birthday girls meal. I dare you to ask me to cough up more. Especially since my ass is on a tight budget!!

Better you THAN me....