i know it's been a minute.. i'm tryna get back into blogging and shit, but it's hard.. especially since i don't have much to write about cuz all i do all damn day is work, eat, shit, and sleep.
anyway, this one couple who lives in the BUILDING NEXT TO US is constantly fighting. they really got into it earlier this evening. i love this shit cuz i'm so muthafuckin' nosy when it comes to other people's drama.. i'm in my room with the lights off, windows wide open and pressed up against it tryna hear what shit is going down today. it's tough to hear everything cuz the girl is screaming hella loud and talkin' way too damn fast [you know how us females get when we excited] and the guy is mumbling and shit.. so all i could make out is:
her: MAYBE IF YOU PICKED UP YO' PHONE, I WOULDN'T BE TRIPPIN'!!
him: WHY YOU GOTTA BE ON MY CASE ALL THE DAMN TIME, DAAAMN!! mumble, mumble, mumble..
her: IF YOU WASN'T BEING SO GODDAMN SHADY, I WOULDN'T BE ON YOU LIKE THAT! YOU ALWAYS TRYNA PLAY ME AND SHIT!!!
him: DAMN, QUIT YELLING!!! mumble, mumble, mumble..
her: I'M YELLIN' CUZ YOU DON'T HEAR ME, NIG-GAAAA.
him: FUCK YOU, GIMME MY KEYS BACK! mumble, mumble, mumble..
her: I AIN'T GIVING YOU SHIIIIIT!!!!!
silence.. then i hear a door slam.. car starts up.. so i peek out my window to see if i can see what's going on.. and ol' boy is in his car about to drive off, when his pissed-the-fuck-off woman comes charging outta their house with a tall ass kitchen trashcan.. and THROWS THAT SHIT AT HIS CAR AS HE'S DRIVING OFF!! hahahaaaaaaaa! dude stops his car, gets out, and screams:
him: WHAT THE FUCK.. ?!?!?!!! BITCH, YOU PUT A DENT IN MY CAR!!!
her: AND????
him: YOU CRAZY.. YOU 'BOUT TO PAY FOR THE BODY WORK AND NEW PAINT.
her: I AIN'T PAYIN' FOR SHIIIIT, NIG-GAAA!!!!!
him: YES YOU ARE! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU THREW A MUTHAFUCKIN' TRASH CAN AT MY CAR!
her: HAVE THAT OTHER BITCH PAY FOR IT!
ol' boy jumps back into his car and skee-skirts outta there. DAMN, i wish i lived closer so i could get ALL the juicy details. dude, this shit is so entertaining, i kid you not. this same couple woke me up a couple days ago at 10 in the damn morning [and i was mad cuz i like to sleep in on the weekends] with their fighting and i thought someone was watching maury. with all that fighting, they better be having some bomb ass make-up sex. otherwise it ain't worth it to stay together, ha.
i have some other updates for ya'll in regards to trey and some new players that i've added to my roster.. but i don't have the time to write about it right now. i'll be sure to write another entry hopefully soon about that.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
i hate [almost] equally!
thank you, anonymous poster, for your comment on my last entry!! i really wish you would have left your name, or some contact information, so i could make this more personable.
i SOUND like a racist? oh, honey.. please stick around and continue reading my shit because i wanna know how you feel about me talkin' shit about the mexican guy in my building coming home drunk and cursing in the middle of the courtyard at 2 am, or about the black guy who lives downstairs who blasts his music throughout the night so nobody in the building can get a peaceful night's rest regardless of the complaints, or just how damn difficult it is to deal with our middle-eastern clients at work, or about how many times i've cheated death while driving thru a crowded asian supermarket parking lot filled with angry lil' asian women behind the wheels of their toyota corollas.. PLEASE!!
assholism crosses all color lines. i have no tolerance for assholes - black assholes, white assholes, mexican assholes, asian assholes - i don't fuckin' care if the damn united nations got together and had an orgy and 9 months later you popped out.. assholes are assholes. well, wait.. okay, i admit.. i may have less tolerance for white folks and i may pick on them more and i may not feel as bad for a struggling white man as i do a struggling black/latino/asian man. so if i'm "racist" because i get a LITTLE more worked up when a WHITE MAN escorts me out of a store in front of all the other customers like i'm some kind of criminal, then great.. i was really worried there for a minute that perhaps you did not see my "i hate white people" tattoo on my forehead! [for those who have a life pass on the short bus: note the sarcasm, kthx]
let this be a disclaimer: i talk a lot of shit about people who tickle me the wrong way. i don't give a damn what color they are. if they piss me off, they piss me the FUCK off! i will continue to mention characteristics of them, including their fucked up teeth, messed up hair, lack of style, and other details of how they look. i like to think i'm painting a picture for my readers. if you don't like what i have to write please don't read it. nobody is forcing you to read my shit and nobody asked for your fuckin' opinion.
sorry, must be my "angry little mixed girl syndrome."
go preach to someone who also thinks it "sucks" and actually gives a fuck.
i SOUND like a racist? oh, honey.. please stick around and continue reading my shit because i wanna know how you feel about me talkin' shit about the mexican guy in my building coming home drunk and cursing in the middle of the courtyard at 2 am, or about the black guy who lives downstairs who blasts his music throughout the night so nobody in the building can get a peaceful night's rest regardless of the complaints, or just how damn difficult it is to deal with our middle-eastern clients at work, or about how many times i've cheated death while driving thru a crowded asian supermarket parking lot filled with angry lil' asian women behind the wheels of their toyota corollas.. PLEASE!!
assholism crosses all color lines. i have no tolerance for assholes - black assholes, white assholes, mexican assholes, asian assholes - i don't fuckin' care if the damn united nations got together and had an orgy and 9 months later you popped out.. assholes are assholes. well, wait.. okay, i admit.. i may have less tolerance for white folks and i may pick on them more and i may not feel as bad for a struggling white man as i do a struggling black/latino/asian man. so if i'm "racist" because i get a LITTLE more worked up when a WHITE MAN escorts me out of a store in front of all the other customers like i'm some kind of criminal, then great.. i was really worried there for a minute that perhaps you did not see my "i hate white people" tattoo on my forehead! [for those who have a life pass on the short bus: note the sarcasm, kthx]
let this be a disclaimer: i talk a lot of shit about people who tickle me the wrong way. i don't give a damn what color they are. if they piss me off, they piss me the FUCK off! i will continue to mention characteristics of them, including their fucked up teeth, messed up hair, lack of style, and other details of how they look. i like to think i'm painting a picture for my readers. if you don't like what i have to write please don't read it. nobody is forcing you to read my shit and nobody asked for your fuckin' opinion.
sorry, must be my "angry little mixed girl syndrome."
go preach to someone who also thinks it "sucks" and actually gives a fuck.
Friday, June 06, 2008
i have no problem managing my anger.. as long as you don't PISS ME OFF!
never in my 25 years of life have i ever thought i'd one day be ESCORTED out of anywhere, much less the muthafuckin' DOLLAR STORE! what.. the.. FUCK.
so earlier this week, i had to go buy some garbage bags and i wasn't tryna pay no $6.99 for some bags at target when the dollar tree across the street sells them for $1. apparently, the dollar tree closes at 9 pm, right.. i get there at 8:55 pm. so technically, I HAVE 5 MUTHAFUCKIN' MINUTES LEFT TO GRAB MY SHIT! so you'd think! why when i walk up to the door, this 75-year-old wrinkly white man who obviously had a dick left in his asshole from the night before, stops me and tells me curtly, "sorry, we're closed." i look at the sign that says they close at 9 pm, glance down at my watch and it says 8:55 pm, and respond, "you close at 9. it's not 9 yet. i just need to get one thing." he shakes his head and repeats, "sorry, CLOSED!" and slams the sliding door close in my face. i'm standing there thinking, what a fucking BITCH. so i walk back to my car.. think about it.. and decide to go back to get my garbage bags. i see people coming out of the store and the wrinkly wannabe-rent-a-cop man who wouldn't let me in is standing by a cashier with his back to me so i see this as an opportunity to sneak in. so i run in, but i guess the cashier must have seen me and pointed me out, and what do you know.. wannabe-rent-a-cop corners me when i get to the third aisle and says, "sorry, WE'RE CLOSED! you need to leave!" i need to leave?!! now this is happening right in front of the line of 8-10 people waiting to check-out.. so i'm beyond pissed at this point because this white man is tryna make me look bad in front of all the other customers! HELL NAW.. obviously grandpa don't know AKI!!! so i say [just as loud].. "i only want one thing, i know exactly what i want and it's RIGHT THERE [within arm's reach]. i can't get it?" he shakes his head and moves in closer to me, arm reaching out to guide me out, and says, "NO, YOU CAN'T! the cash register is closed!" WHAT?!! i look behind him at the line of people and am like, "what the fuck you mean the cashier is closed?!! there are PEOPLE STILL IN LINE! it is not even 9 yet. all i want is ONE THING.. it's the fuckin' dollar store.. this shit is $1.08 with tax! i don't need a fuckin' cashier with her fancy register to tell me that, i'll just give you the fuckin' money!" now i'm ranting and raving because i am so pissed that this man 1) turned me away 5 minutes before closing, 2) made me sneak back into the store, 3) hunted me down to stop me from buying my garbage bags, and 4) was doing all of this in front of everybody else. so i didn't give a fuck. and when the old man actually touched my shoulder to escort me out of the store, oh no.. that's a NO-NO. you don't touch me if you don't know me.. i sure as hell did scream at him to not fuckin' touch me. he just kept inching me towards the door.. so i was like FUCK IT.. i'm done. what a bitch.. i hope i did give him a fuckin' heart attack, old ass muthafuckin' BITCH!!! but hey.. can't blame him.. if i was 75-years-old and still working at the DOLLAR TREE as a fake ass DOOR MAN, i, too, would act like that. OH, and you already know i told him exactly that as he was escorting me out the store. AND i said it loud enough to embarrass his geriatric ass.
oh, and i think the old man was scared of me, too.. cuz he was watching me from inside the store to make sure i got into my car and left, before he came back outside. OMG, if i was allowed to, you best believe i would have run his ass down with my car and spit on his pasty white ass as i drove off! i am getting all worked up again just writing about this.. but i'll be damned if someone [especially an old ass white man] was to talk to me the way he did, treat me like a criminal and escort me out a store. the FUCK do you think you ARE?!! and all this stemmed from his bitch ass not letting me in the store 5 minutes before closing. hey, buddy.. i don't work at the dollar store making minimum wage like you do, so i don't need to do all my shopping there! it's not like i was gonna shop around in that fuckin' store.. i need ONE THING and i knew exactly where it was at. and with 10 people still in line waiting to check-out, the hell would one more be?!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
anyway, ryan broke his ankle playing basketball, so i've been busy taking care of his crippled ass. see how nice i am? tho i'll admit.. taking care of people is sooo not me, haha. forreals.. i've noticed every man [my father, brothers, boyfriends, male friends, etc] all act like the world is coming to an end when they are sick. i mean, really? sheesh, caring for a sick man is like caring for a CHILD! fuck birth control.. just having to take care of someone and answer to their every call is enough to tell me that i am NOT ready for no child any time soon, haha.
anyway, it's finally friday and i can [hopefully] get some relaxation in. i need it. it's been one stressful week and if i don't get any R&R i swear i'll hurt some bitches.
so earlier this week, i had to go buy some garbage bags and i wasn't tryna pay no $6.99 for some bags at target when the dollar tree across the street sells them for $1. apparently, the dollar tree closes at 9 pm, right.. i get there at 8:55 pm. so technically, I HAVE 5 MUTHAFUCKIN' MINUTES LEFT TO GRAB MY SHIT! so you'd think! why when i walk up to the door, this 75-year-old wrinkly white man who obviously had a dick left in his asshole from the night before, stops me and tells me curtly, "sorry, we're closed." i look at the sign that says they close at 9 pm, glance down at my watch and it says 8:55 pm, and respond, "you close at 9. it's not 9 yet. i just need to get one thing." he shakes his head and repeats, "sorry, CLOSED!" and slams the sliding door close in my face. i'm standing there thinking, what a fucking BITCH. so i walk back to my car.. think about it.. and decide to go back to get my garbage bags. i see people coming out of the store and the wrinkly wannabe-rent-a-cop man who wouldn't let me in is standing by a cashier with his back to me so i see this as an opportunity to sneak in. so i run in, but i guess the cashier must have seen me and pointed me out, and what do you know.. wannabe-rent-a-cop corners me when i get to the third aisle and says, "sorry, WE'RE CLOSED! you need to leave!" i need to leave?!! now this is happening right in front of the line of 8-10 people waiting to check-out.. so i'm beyond pissed at this point because this white man is tryna make me look bad in front of all the other customers! HELL NAW.. obviously grandpa don't know AKI!!! so i say [just as loud].. "i only want one thing, i know exactly what i want and it's RIGHT THERE [within arm's reach]. i can't get it?" he shakes his head and moves in closer to me, arm reaching out to guide me out, and says, "NO, YOU CAN'T! the cash register is closed!" WHAT?!! i look behind him at the line of people and am like, "what the fuck you mean the cashier is closed?!! there are PEOPLE STILL IN LINE! it is not even 9 yet. all i want is ONE THING.. it's the fuckin' dollar store.. this shit is $1.08 with tax! i don't need a fuckin' cashier with her fancy register to tell me that, i'll just give you the fuckin' money!" now i'm ranting and raving because i am so pissed that this man 1) turned me away 5 minutes before closing, 2) made me sneak back into the store, 3) hunted me down to stop me from buying my garbage bags, and 4) was doing all of this in front of everybody else. so i didn't give a fuck. and when the old man actually touched my shoulder to escort me out of the store, oh no.. that's a NO-NO. you don't touch me if you don't know me.. i sure as hell did scream at him to not fuckin' touch me. he just kept inching me towards the door.. so i was like FUCK IT.. i'm done. what a bitch.. i hope i did give him a fuckin' heart attack, old ass muthafuckin' BITCH!!! but hey.. can't blame him.. if i was 75-years-old and still working at the DOLLAR TREE as a fake ass DOOR MAN, i, too, would act like that. OH, and you already know i told him exactly that as he was escorting me out the store. AND i said it loud enough to embarrass his geriatric ass.
oh, and i think the old man was scared of me, too.. cuz he was watching me from inside the store to make sure i got into my car and left, before he came back outside. OMG, if i was allowed to, you best believe i would have run his ass down with my car and spit on his pasty white ass as i drove off! i am getting all worked up again just writing about this.. but i'll be damned if someone [especially an old ass white man] was to talk to me the way he did, treat me like a criminal and escort me out a store. the FUCK do you think you ARE?!! and all this stemmed from his bitch ass not letting me in the store 5 minutes before closing. hey, buddy.. i don't work at the dollar store making minimum wage like you do, so i don't need to do all my shopping there! it's not like i was gonna shop around in that fuckin' store.. i need ONE THING and i knew exactly where it was at. and with 10 people still in line waiting to check-out, the hell would one more be?!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
anyway, ryan broke his ankle playing basketball, so i've been busy taking care of his crippled ass. see how nice i am? tho i'll admit.. taking care of people is sooo not me, haha. forreals.. i've noticed every man [my father, brothers, boyfriends, male friends, etc] all act like the world is coming to an end when they are sick. i mean, really? sheesh, caring for a sick man is like caring for a CHILD! fuck birth control.. just having to take care of someone and answer to their every call is enough to tell me that i am NOT ready for no child any time soon, haha.
anyway, it's finally friday and i can [hopefully] get some relaxation in. i need it. it's been one stressful week and if i don't get any R&R i swear i'll hurt some bitches.
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