Friday, June 06, 2008

i have no problem managing my anger.. as long as you don't PISS ME OFF!

never in my 25 years of life have i ever thought i'd one day be ESCORTED out of anywhere, much less the muthafuckin' DOLLAR STORE! what.. the.. FUCK.

so earlier this week, i had to go buy some garbage bags and i wasn't tryna pay no $6.99 for some bags at target when the dollar tree across the street sells them for $1. apparently, the dollar tree closes at 9 pm, right.. i get there at 8:55 pm. so technically, I HAVE 5 MUTHAFUCKIN' MINUTES LEFT TO GRAB MY SHIT! so you'd think! why when i walk up to the door, this 75-year-old wrinkly white man who obviously had a dick left in his asshole from the night before, stops me and tells me curtly, "sorry, we're closed." i look at the sign that says they close at 9 pm, glance down at my watch and it says 8:55 pm, and respond, "you close at 9. it's not 9 yet. i just need to get one thing." he shakes his head and repeats, "sorry, CLOSED!" and slams the sliding door close in my face. i'm standing there thinking, what a fucking BITCH. so i walk back to my car.. think about it.. and decide to go back to get my garbage bags. i see people coming out of the store and the wrinkly wannabe-rent-a-cop man who wouldn't let me in is standing by a cashier with his back to me so i see this as an opportunity to sneak in. so i run in, but i guess the cashier must have seen me and pointed me out, and what do you know.. wannabe-rent-a-cop corners me when i get to the third aisle and says, "sorry, WE'RE CLOSED! you need to leave!" i need to leave?!! now this is happening right in front of the line of 8-10 people waiting to check-out.. so i'm beyond pissed at this point because this white man is tryna make me look bad in front of all the other customers! HELL NAW.. obviously grandpa don't know AKI!!! so i say [just as loud].. "i only want one thing, i know exactly what i want and it's RIGHT THERE [within arm's reach]. i can't get it?" he shakes his head and moves in closer to me, arm reaching out to guide me out, and says, "NO, YOU CAN'T! the cash register is closed!" WHAT?!! i look behind him at the line of people and am like, "what the fuck you mean the cashier is closed?!! there are PEOPLE STILL IN LINE! it is not even 9 yet. all i want is ONE THING.. it's the fuckin' dollar store.. this shit is $1.08 with tax! i don't need a fuckin' cashier with her fancy register to tell me that, i'll just give you the fuckin' money!" now i'm ranting and raving because i am so pissed that this man 1) turned me away 5 minutes before closing, 2) made me sneak back into the store, 3) hunted me down to stop me from buying my garbage bags, and 4) was doing all of this in front of everybody else. so i didn't give a fuck. and when the old man actually touched my shoulder to escort me out of the store, oh no.. that's a NO-NO. you don't touch me if you don't know me.. i sure as hell did scream at him to not fuckin' touch me. he just kept inching me towards the door.. so i was like FUCK IT.. i'm done. what a bitch.. i hope i did give him a fuckin' heart attack, old ass muthafuckin' BITCH!!! but hey.. can't blame him.. if i was 75-years-old and still working at the DOLLAR TREE as a fake ass DOOR MAN, i, too, would act like that. OH, and you already know i told him exactly that as he was escorting me out the store. AND i said it loud enough to embarrass his geriatric ass.

oh, and i think the old man was scared of me, too.. cuz he was watching me from inside the store to make sure i got into my car and left, before he came back outside. OMG, if i was allowed to, you best believe i would have run his ass down with my car and spit on his pasty white ass as i drove off! i am getting all worked up again just writing about this.. but i'll be damned if someone [especially an old ass white man] was to talk to me the way he did, treat me like a criminal and escort me out a store. the FUCK do you think you ARE?!! and all this stemmed from his bitch ass not letting me in the store 5 minutes before closing. hey, buddy.. i don't work at the dollar store making minimum wage like you do, so i don't need to do all my shopping there! it's not like i was gonna shop around in that fuckin' store.. i need ONE THING and i knew exactly where it was at. and with 10 people still in line waiting to check-out, the hell would one more be?!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

anyway, ryan broke his ankle playing basketball, so i've been busy taking care of his crippled ass. see how nice i am? tho i'll admit.. taking care of people is sooo not me, haha. forreals.. i've noticed every man [my father, brothers, boyfriends, male friends, etc] all act like the world is coming to an end when they are sick. i mean, really? sheesh, caring for a sick man is like caring for a CHILD! fuck birth control.. just having to take care of someone and answer to their every call is enough to tell me that i am NOT ready for no child any time soon, haha.

anyway, it's finally friday and i can [hopefully] get some relaxation in. i need it. it's been one stressful week and if i don't get any R&R i swear i'll hurt some bitches.

15 comments:

Academic Butterfly said...

Only you would get escorted out of the Dollar Store lol.

The Black Kat said...

Um... I was about to use your Gub'ment name up in here! lol! Girl... you need to WOOSAH!! I was waiting for you to tell me that you SMACKED this man! I promise you! lol! Although closing the store 5 minutes early is HELLA bad customer service. EVEN @ the Dollar Tree, where they dayum sure NEED all the dollars they can get! Begeezus!! But yeah... that anger kicked in something serious when you told him he was 75 AND STILL making minimum wage. *smh* I felt a lil' bad for grandpa. (lol!) But... since I know you... and I know you are NOTSTA be played with, I'd have been in the car rollin' at you tryin' to sneak in the store. I guess you high-tailed it to the grocery store, then? Since I'm sure your face is now posted up somewhere on DOLLAR TREE'S MOST WANTED SIGNS!! =o)

Eb the Celeb said...

the title of this post is classic...

and i really dont know what I would do in some cases if I hadnt seen bad boys too and that

wooooooosssaaahhhh tactic because it has really saved a lot of people from getting hurt

Teana said...

the dollar tree? lol. classic.

Jadore.Tokeyo said...

LMAO!!!!! getting escorted out a dollar store!!! LMAO!!!! priceless!!!

the black kat said...

Oh schnapps... you actually posted up a PICTURE? Stop the press...

LD said...

sounds like some profiling to me. sue!

-LD

Melody.Darlene said...

AKIIIII!!

haaaaaaaaaaahahhahah!

gotdamn i love your ass!! tooo much alike!! i woulda been tellin him the SAME shit as he was walkin me out!! haha! i low key probably woulda grabbed those trashbags and ran! u know doode cant keep up! hahah!

K@LiENTe said...

LMMFAO, OMG i can so picture this shyt. I would've been the one in line to be like "man hand me the trashbags" and would've checked out for your crazy azz!!! LOL and i would have dared him to kick me out cuz i was already in line..LMAO omg u a straight goon i cannot believe you SNUCK the fuk back in...LMMFAO

-Q. said...

Oh this shit is rich shorty! Funny as hell but sad at the same time.. I can relate but check it- Same kinda shit happened to me last year. I bought a sectional from Rooms-To-Go I was getting in my last payment (3-way pymnt). Muhfucka seen me pulling into the drive way ( two employees inside-5 mins till close) Now i didnt notice till i started shufflin to the front door that this dude was shufflin lil faster than me to beat me to the door. at first i thought this MF was trying to get the door for me- i mean if i was retail (big money retail) i would open the door, but he was rushing to lock it and tell me the store's closed. I explained to him 'im just trying to make my last pymnt so i could get my ish delivered that weekend(it was a fri).. Long story short the lawz rolled up- just doing a sweep right before i picked up this metal trash can to throw at that bastard..

The moral of the story is when mad at retail dont run em over boo, just throw a trash can or something to break a front door and/or window...
Smile your now pimpin, pimpin -Q.

Romney said...

LMFAO. I'd tell him the FUCK off too. I mean really where the fuck her gotta be after 9? No damn where. That's ironic you say all men act like that, my bestie was just telling me about that a few weeks ago when her man claimed he had the damn FLU. They just want somebody to play mommy for their ass. But whatever, I can't complain, because if the tables were turned I might just be doing the same.

Anonymous said...

kinda racist don't you think
so what if he was a white guy..there was no point in mentioning that because it makes you sound like a racist....i understand your anger but please don't involve race it sucks

The Black Kat said...

well dayum, aki... here we go w/ the foolishness. *smh*

THE PRINCESS "CC" said...

OH Wow...I have a bad temper, most people don't know that BUT I have gotten into arguments with strangers which is pretty scary NEVER ESCORTED, but if my watch said 5 til, I wouldn't have left the first time and I wouldn't have left without what I came for or there would have been some sort of law suit along with me getting into someone ASS, I know that's sad, but thats ME.

FlyyGurl said...

I LOVE IT!!!! geez i didnt think anybody out there had wrath like ine...dont you know my adrenalione and stuff was hypin up as I was reading it? Good shit! lol