yes, it's 4 pm on a thursday and my ass is AT HOME! YAY for short work days! as soon as we got the OK from the boss to leave early, my ass was out the door. i was planning on using my extra hours of freedom to go do some shopping and get a mani/pedi.. but it is so freakin' HOT that by the time i got back to my apartment, i didn't wanna leave. haha.
so since i'm single now, i'm really enjoying my freedom. i love being single. i don't really think i'm that great at relationships. i don't like having someone to answer to, i don't like having to worry about someone else, and i don't do the romance mushy shit. but i do enjoy being showered with attention, and tho i'm too damn lazy [and busy] to do the whole dating thing, i have been meeting guys and the ones who make the cut, i've added to my roster. the others.. well, they just don't need to be interacting with other humans.
a couple weekends ago, i went to this BBQ with my old college roomies. there was this one guy there.. tall, dark, pretty cute.. plus he had a nice, round, plump, perky BOOTY! mmm mmm MMM!! anyway, he seemed cool, so we exchanged phone numbers. i quickly realized after talking to him that i needed to mark a big fat "HELLLLL NO!!!" on his forehead and send his ass back to where he came from.
STRIKE 1 [after i tell him about my job]:
him: oh, so you like have to go to school for that, huh?
him: so where do you go?
me: i actually already graduated.
him: from where?
me: uc berkeley
him: oh wow, ma. that's like a really good school, isn't it? isn't it 4 years?
me: um, yeah.
him: so you smart, ma! that's wassup.
me: yeah. what about you?
him: oh, naw.. school and me don't mix. shiiit, i hardly made it thru the 4 years of HIGH SCHOOL, and niggas out there tryna go back for another 4 years?!! ya'll TRIPPIN'! i mean, i got respect for those who go to college and shit, but naw.. it ain't for me.
STRIKE 2.. and 3, and 4.. [talking about our past relationships]:
him: it's hard for me to start up something new with a female cuz my baby momma crazy. she one of them crazy girls who don't want nobody else to have me, ya feel me?
him: me and her got into it a few months ago.. so of course since i'm the man, i got arrested for assault and battery. and then the bitch took a restraining order out on me and i can't see my daughter!
so on top of not believing in higher education, this dude has a child, has a restraining order against him, and refers to his ex as "bitch." [as much as i love that word and the fact that that word comes out my mouth like verbal diarrhea, i don't like it when a guy refers to a female by that term] and he calls me "ma" every 3 minutes. ughhh.. NO GROWN ASS MAN NEEDS TO BE CALLIN' ME "MA" unless i'm 60 years old and once pushed you outta my vajayjay!!!! of course, i've since decided that this fool does not deserve any of my anytime minutes.. 39214783175 roll-over minutes included! the last time we talked, i actually hung up on him in the middle of a conversation [even at&t drops calls once in a while!]. so he's been callin' and callin' and textin' and leaving me messages like, "aye, ma.. what's good.. just thinkin' of yo' sexy self.. hit me back! don't make me have to find you [evil chuckle]!" a restraining order? against YOU? noooo.. i can't imagine.
what a waste of a nice, perky ass. damn shame.